Brand Voice Isn’t a Paragraph — It’s a Personality

I’ve seen it; I’ve worked in it... I’ve been tea bagged by it every time I search for something on Google. Most brands treat “brand voice” like it’s some dusty paragraph buried in a brand guideline PDF that hasn’t been opened since pre-pandemic optimism. We’ve all seen it — that bland little blurb:

“We are friendly yet professional, bold yet approachable, confident yet warm.”

Cool. cool-cool-cool-cool.
So you’re a golden retriever in a blazer.
Got it.

Brand voice isn’t a paragraph you can put into ChatGPT to give you.
It’s a personality.

It’s the soul of your brand translated into words, tone, rhythm, humor, tension — everything that makes a human sound… well, human.

And that’s the problem: most brands write like they’re trying to impress a college admissions officer instead of connecting with actual people. The truth is, humans don’t talk like that (and you aren’t going to get into that college unless you fake a rowing team photo). Even robots don’t talk like that — and they’re doing half the writing now.

But here’s the real kicker:
Every brand already has a personality.
It just gets buried under layers of beige corporate self-preservation.

Someone on the leadership team hears a bold line of copy and says,
“Tone that down — what if someone doesn’t like it?”

Let me tell you something:
If you’re trying to be liked by everyone, you’re memorable to no one. You are basically the brand equivalent of a pair of Kahki’s. (useful, but no one is noticing you.)

Your brand voice should feel like a character — someone with edge, clarity, and conviction. Someone who actually has something to say and is willing to say it.

What Brand Voice Really Is

It’s not words.
Its identity.

A great brand voice has three pillars:

1. POV (Point of View)

If your brand doesn’t have opinions, it doesn’t have oxygen.
Now, you don’t have to be controversial — but you do have to stand for something.

2. Emotional Consistency

Your tone can shift.
However, your personality should not.

Think: same character, different situations. (Think Bruce Wayne and Batman)

3. Courage

Not recklessness — courage.
Courage to be specific, human, and unmistakable.

No great brand voice was ever written by a committee terrified of Twitter. (And no idiot lived forever)

What Happens When You Get It Right

You’ll see that things will start working better:

• Ads hit harder

• Social engagement spikes

• Emails get opened AND enjoyed

• People remember you

• Hiring managers scroll your portfolio like it’s a dating profile. (One without shirtless pictures and group photos)

Consistency in voice builds trust.
Personality builds love.
And love builds lifetime value.

Why Most Brand Voices Fall Flat

1. They’re written to avoid risk.

Like that one friend who doesn’t try anything because they're afraid to fail. Fear is the worst copy editor.

2. They’re trying to sound “professional.”

Professional is not a tone.
It’s a tax bracket. (and not a good one)

3. They’re over-polished.

If your brand voice sounds like a legal department Mad Libs game, you’re doing it wrong.

4. They’re indistinguishable from competitors.

The world doesn’t need another “premium, thoughtful, innovative, customer-first” brand. It needs you. And you.

The Fix

You write how a human speaks — then refine.
Your brand voice should feel like someone your audience could actually have a beer or joint with. (depending on your state)

Because at the end of the day, people don’t buy from brands.
They buy from personalities.

And if your brand doesn’t have one…
I can fix that.